Was day 43

So I was pretty abstinent and relapsed today. Went to target with the frame of mind to relapse. I even bought a reeses bar so I could relapse before I got home so I wouldn't chicken out while making my cookies. I feel so sick. Sweets make your crave salts. I texted my ex and asked him to come over and help me because I was a mess. My stomach kills. I am in pain. I want to never do this again and start my abstinence over again tomorrow. I wish I could pinpoint what happened, what went wrong but I do not know. I am thinking I went relationship to relationship and then to food today. I had a breakup one week ago and I guess it didn't hit me until today. The cookie dough, pizza and reeses didn't even taste good. I have called my support group to talk about it and I hope to start over tomorrow. I so a great weight on Friday and am scared I have gained 10 pounds with my binge today. I gave my scale to my roommate for the time being so I don't obsess. It sucks.